big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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