yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
