your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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