girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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