with your own penis?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
