I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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