Need sex. Gaining weight.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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