I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize