Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
