I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
