we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Boobs speak an international language.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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