need another drink. this is the easiest way
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
