As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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