Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
