____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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