1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
