You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
