dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
