im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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