Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize