Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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