Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
