I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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