I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
