sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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