I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
