God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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