Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
