Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
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Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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