Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
