Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
