If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize