I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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