eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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