I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need to wash the frat house off of me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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