I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Drunk is not a location!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
