You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
