they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
