Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
