So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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