if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
