Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

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  (520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2572) Bad night (821)
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  (310): View more from California

  I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

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  (310): I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips. http://tfl.nu/o6k6
  Replies (15) Good night (1629) Bad night (2961)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future

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  (330): He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future http://tfl.nu/ji9u
  Replies (8) Good night (812) Bad night (3637)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

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  (773): What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this. http://tfl.nu/0oyt
  Replies (12) Good night (2268) Bad night (968)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night

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  (202): but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night http://tfl.nu/v5ja
  Replies (8) Good night (2135) Bad night (1230)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

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  (774): its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody http://tfl.nu/wrf2
  Replies (12) Good night (2663) Bad night (760)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.

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  (231): Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you. http://tfl.nu/6utw
  Replies (18) Good night (2931) Bad night (943)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.

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  (419): I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck. http://tfl.nu/c5ir
  Replies (6) Good night (1607) Bad night (834)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!

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  (352): Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!! http://tfl.nu/bmaq
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (1149)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name

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  (229): You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name http://tfl.nu/wjcx
  Replies (2) Good night (1627) Bad night (396)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.

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  (240): I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me. http://tfl.nu/xr2y
  Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (530)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Can't it be both?

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  (317): is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak' (1-317): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/ys3h
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (670)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.

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  (781): Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it. http://tfl.nu/uzna
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (291)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..

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  (740): I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation.. http://tfl.nu/kwny
  Replies (1) Good night (249) Bad night (591)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.

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  (401): Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché. http://tfl.nu/g4lg
  Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (198)

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