There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She even gives head with a lisp.
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.