She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
