He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
