Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
