i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
