Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
