Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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