Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
