just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
