Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You smell like stripper and shame
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
