just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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