ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
