Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
