Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
