I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
