You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
