Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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