I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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