the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
