Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
