your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
