I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
