I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
