sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize