Me. At least after what I've been through.
You smell like stripper and shame
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize