i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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